POUZZA: Interview with Ray from Middle Aged Pocket Puppets... formerly known as Teenage Bottlerocket #LiesSheBlogged

This was the end of the last day of interviews... the bottom of many a bottle... and I think my brain had shut off by this point. Ray seemed pretty over being interviewed too and we were distracted by the dudes in Masked Intruder having fun a few steps away.. therefore I decided to keep the interview short and stupid. 

What's the most disgusting place you've ever pooped on tour? 
Oh man it was just the other night, in Albuquerque at a place called the Launch Pad. It was filthy... bugs... stinky... just like, man motherfucker really? I have to do this? But when you have to poop you have to poop.

Have you ever considered changing your name to Adult Bottlerocket since you guys... aren't... teenagers? 
Haha, or Middle Aged Pocket Puppets?! .. You know, I think I was like 23 when we started this band, so it doesn't even make sense! I wasn't even a teenager... I was lying about my age to get younger chicks maybe. The thing about a shitty band name though... actually I've grown to love our band name, so don't get me wrong! But the thing about a shitty band name is you're stuck with it when it happens. You're stuck with it. I think I read in an interview that Green Day doesn't like their name.. you're just stuck with your name sometimes and we're Teenage Bottlerocket! But, I think it's sort of a good description of the music in a sort of way, 'explosive youthfulness'! Maybe when we really start to have back problems or get really fat we'll be like 'really, come on guys, Teenage Bottlerocket?' and we'll just have to change it to Bottlerocket or something.

Which one of you is the stinkiest? 
You know, one time I farted and Miguel puked, literally in the van and five minutes later Miguel farted and I puked. And that's a true story, I'm not making that up to be funny. That happened. So we're both pretty fucking gross... but I have the smelliest ass, I'll admit it. I'm the one that makes everyone roll the windows down, everyone goes 'Fuck Ray!'.. it's me.

Where's the worst place you've ever stayed on tour?
Well, this tour Face To Face are giving us a little bit of money but we're really trying to save as much of it as we can so we're still sleeping on peoples floors, and things don't annoy me like cockroaches or anything like that, but what annoys me is toilets fucked up, something like that. So if I start to get bombed then sometimes we just bail, like we just bail... these guys the other day were staying in a place in LA called the Think Tank and it's sort of this hippy commune, a bunch of rooms in this abandoned building, sort of a squat.. it's really cool what these people have done with it... I don't want to say 'these people', I'll just say 'these hippies' ... it's really cool what these hippies have done with the Think Tank. It's just a community of artists and people who do music and stuff and I actually went to a party so I didn't make it to the Think Tank, but apparently my band showed up there and left 5 minutes later because it was so gross... the front room was really nice, they made it to the kitchen area and there was a lot of flies and cats everywhere, we're allergic to cats, so everyone just split. So yeah I'll go with the Think Tank even though I never went.

How do you feel about independent bands turning to their fans to raise money for recording, or like even fixing a broken down van while you're on tour?
Oh I think there's so many ways you can do the music thing now, if a band is doing say a Kickstarter campaign to raise money for a new record...

interview pauses while Ray asks Blue from Masked Intruder for a cigarette, and we got a bit sidetracked talking about his love for Canadian cigarettes...

I like the cheapest Canadian cigarettes! I like the Players, I even like the Export A's ... the darks! They are so awesome, they like sting! They hurt! I've been trying to cut back.

Sorry, what was I saying?

Right! So basically if a band starts a campaign on Kickstarter, that's money you basically don't have to owe back to a label, so shit. I'm cool with bands doing that. We don't spend a lot of money recording, and if you do that's just money you owe to your label, with Kickstarter you don't have to pay back shit! Obviously somebody is paying for something because of the prizes that different donations get you and whatever, as far as I know anyway... I've only looked at a couple peoples campaigns but I've been impressed by a couple of them so I think that kind of stuff is cool, whatever you can do you know? Get out there and make your money, go out and get your music out there, that's the point. Some people might say that it's cry baby begging bullshit, some people might say... money rules. But if you're going to be a cry baby about it and nobody even gives you money than it's a double lose, you don't get money and you look like a bitch!

That's when you know you need to break up.
hahaha, basically!

Most recent awesome Fat Mike story? 
Oh man, there have been tons of crazy stories, recently we were at this club in Cincinnati, and this lady was in a wheelchair with no legs and one arm and the one arm she did have had only 3 fingers on it and she had this crazy growth on her face and she was putting cigarettes out on Miguel.. and it went even crazier with that, there's pictures, it was a weird night... there's been some weird shit.

And then, one of the funniest things happened... a real cop (or, maybe just a security guard) walked over to Masked Intruder as they took up the sidewalk, still sporting their masks of course... and I am assuming drinking.. Ray starts chirping them..

What are you guys, a bunch of robbers disrespecting police? ... RUN!

Sorry! I'm standing here in front of Masked Intruder and a cop just walked in between the band, it was quite humorous.

I really wish we were videotaping this. 
Have you ever played so hard you puked? 
Oh yeah, sometimes I play my guts out and afterwards I'm puking. Brandon does too, it happens. You know Joe from Smoke Or Fire? With him it's almost every time.. that guy sings his head off.

Last question, have you ever pooped your pants on stage? 
I think everybody has shit their pants on stage, that's every member. That's Friday!